Monday, November 11, 2013

NAME THAT CELEBRITY

Welcome to the new TV show Name That Celebrity, where the first contestant to name that celebrity from a list of clues wins points; the more clues needed, the less points accrued. The contestant with the most points at the end of the show wins a prize, which tonight will be one of the following:
1. the latest mobile phone with all the latest spying software, middleware, firmware, hardware, and whatever other ware for the NSA and GCHQ to spy on you while you go about your daily life
2. an all expenses paid trip to Gaza, to see first hand the racism and brutality of the Israeli occupation
3. shadow a brigade of cutthroat rebels in Syria for a day as they enjoy being used as a proxy terrorist force for Israel
4. a cuddly toy
5. a simulation of the assassination of President John F Kennedy to understand how it was impossible that Lee Harvey Oswald killed Kennedy

And so, on to our first celebrity:
Clue 1 : I am an author, actor and comedian

Clue 2 : I am openly gay

Clue 3 : I campaign against Russia, and I don't get attacked in the media.

(Buzz from contestant Frank) Frank : Stephen Fry?

Now, onto our second celebrity:
Clue 1 : I too am an author, actor and comedian

Clue 2 : I am not gay (but have had one homosexual encounter, and that was for a TV show) and have had a long, long list of girlfriends and have been married for a brief period

Clue 3 : I call for revolution, and do get attacked in the media.

(Buzz from contestant Mary) : Russell Brand!

So, for 10 bonus points, can either of you explain to the audience why one gets slaughtered in the media and one doesn't?

Mary: Ermmmmmmmmmmmm...

Frank : Now, that's a toughie...

Member of the audience (possibly me) shouts out : Coz Fry attacked Russia while Brand called for revolution, you pillocks!


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